The best way to boost your confidence is indeed through a shifted mindset, and it’s surprisingly easy to achieve! All you’ll need is a little self discipline and determination. I am a huge fan of Ed Mylett’s motivational speeches on his podcast. This man is so influential I believe his words alone have the power to turn a homeless person into a millionaire. Seems a bit surreal, right? Or maybe you’re thinking, “Oh she doesn’t have a real grasp on reality if she thinks this way,” and you’re right. I don’t have a real grasp on your version of reality. I have an optimistic grasp on my own reality. My perception of reality correlates to my own life, therefore our definitions of reality will always slightly differ despite our similarities, as we are not the same person. No two versions of reality are right or wrong. I want your version to feel nothing shy of amazing! The best that it can possibly be, so that is why I want you to carefully read between the lines. Keep an open and opportunistic mind as some of your own perceptions begin to shift through this article.
I believe anything in life is possible. We are all capable of transcending the mundane. As long as you continuously remind yourself to be open minded, and believe in the endless possibility of opportunity that flows to you in abundance. Hell, i've created an entire brand that symbolizes being open minded as a reminder to myself to be open minded and opportunistic. Some may be wondering wonder, “So what even is reality?". This my friend is the world or state of things as they actually exist. “Ok, but how will shifting my perception of reality boost my confidence?". Well that’s easy- who exactly are these things existing to? You, right? Therefore your reality is life according to yourself and those who are active in your realm of life. We are really all apart of one another’s realities whether we realize it or not. All of our collective energy flows synergistically in the abundant universe. Your delusion of your reality is your own experience here on earth, and no two people’s delusions are the exact same. Maybe congruent, but never the exact same.
That’s where the power of belief comes in, and you’ve got to believe in yourself like it’s your full-time job! We can’t expect others to understand or believe in the reality we want to create for ourselves to the depths that we most desire. Let alone expect them to understand the reality we’re currently living on a daily basis. Read those last two lines again. This is why believing in yourself with your entirety is immensely vital to the outcome of your life. Being in the driver seat of your reality means keeping the promises you have made to yourself, in turn helping you construct unbreakable confidence. Nobody wants the passenger seat on the ride of their own life. Have you ever been the passenger on your own ride? I certainly have.
Believing in yourself and controlling your reality means keeping the promises you make to yourself, as Ed Mylett says best. The promise to workout five days a week, the one to spend more time with your kids on the weekend, or how about the one where you swore you’d never talk to your ex again? When I first heard this I couldn’t believe how simple it actually was. I pondered the promises I had broken to myself in the past, and how each one of them singlehandedly made me feel. These promises all had a common denominator. They were physically simple, but mentally quite challenging.
When you break promises to your peers you can often give them a valid excuse within reason. Your car won’t start, you’re sick, or you’re boss called you in on a Saturday. Your loved ones will understand, and they probably won’t waste their time wondering if your excuse was completely true or not. When you break a promise to yourself however, you will always know if it’s true or not. If you love yourself, wouldn’t it hurt to break a promise that you made to yourself?
Breaking a promise and then lying about why you broke the promise is enough to deteriorate your self confidence one hundred percent of the time. You begin to live in denial. Never fully taking accountability for your actions. Nine times out of ten the reason you broke that promise was b.s. stemming from pure and utter laziness. Were you languorous out of fear, or was it self doubt? You begin to view yourself as someone you can’t even trust. If you can’t trust yourself how will others trust you? When you begin to take full responsibility for your words and actions one hundred percent of the time is when you will begin to live a much more blissful life. You will be present in your promises, confident in your words and actions, and poised in yourself.
If you say you’re going running at the crack of dawn, but stayed up drinking wine until midnight. Welp, too bad! You made the promise to yourself to run, and you made the conscious decision to drink soon after. Though it may feel hard initially I promise you will feel even more incredible for keeping it. Even if it was the most agonizing run of your life- you will leave with a sense of accomplishment and heightened self confidence.
When we trust ourselves we don’t go about life feeling unsure. You trust that everything to come from your mouth you mean for certain, and you will stand by your word. If you have no intention to do something, you don’t waste the breath exclaiming it. You mean what you say, and say what you do. It’s that simple, and I promise you will reap in far more glory than that of boosted self-esteem. You will become more aligned and grounded by your perseverance to keep your promises.
If you break the promises made to yourself to live for other people this will also deteriorate your sense of self. For example, “Hey Carlie! What do ya say we do dinner and a movie tonight?” says a kind new friend who is unaware of the plans and promises I have already made myself for the evening. I would respond something along the lines of, “Hey Jane! Thanks so much for the invite, but I am cooking and writing tonight. Let’s raincheck for another time here soon!”. You will begin to resent the people around you unconsciously when you don’t know how to say "no" to them. Why are you so willing to make plans with peers, but diminish the promises made to yourself? You’re living life for others. You're breaking the promises that you made yourself. You’re people pleasing, and you need take a moment to remember just who’s name is on your birth certificate? Yours of course, because this is your life! Stop living for others, and start living for yourself again. Self care is not selfish.
So I ask that you begin to shift your mindset, and take the reins of your reality back. Keep the promises you make to yourself, and don’t let them slip between the cracks. This will be hard at times, but I believe in you. You are capable, and subconsciously you’re excited right now. I hope this article leaves you feeling liberated! Learn how to say no to others. Realize that saying no now creates more to say yes to in the future.
The older you become the more obstacles life will continue to throw your way. This will slowly chip away at you overtime, but it doesn't have to. If life were meant to be easy it would’ve come with an instruction manual. We can either wither, or we can wander. Keeping the promises made to yourself will keep your confidence boosted, and wandering towards what you fear will keep you engaged and growing. If you’re not growing you’re dying. Keep your promises, and enjoy living confidently.