Have you ever noticed you’re not quite acting like your true level-headed self in your relationship? Have you felt entirely overwhelmed and exhausted by your emotions lately? Your heart has moved in and sent your head well on it’s way. How you’re handling the situation doesn’t even feel like yourself. Maybe you find yourself frustrated with your actions/reactions more often than not. Cut yourself a little slack, my friend. Myself amongst many others are right there with you. Pheromones have our pheelings phucked, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Pheromones are chemical substances that humans naturally release into the environment subconsciously. The vomeronasal organ detects the pheromones and sends a signal to the olfactory nerves. The olfactory nerves stimulate the hypothalamus in the cortex of the brain which stimulates your emotions. Or your heart strings as I like to say. The pheromone scent triggers illicit emotions in the hypothalamus such as attraction, arousal, and desire. The main purpose of them is to lure someone in. Cosmic connection or fatal attraction style. We are biologically attracted to those who’s pheromones’ are genetically compatible with ours. Neat, huh?
The older I become the more I realize that head and heart being in congruence is seldom, especially when it comes to love. So now you know you have your pheromones to thank for this. I believe we as humans are cosmically bound to some individuals, until death do us part. Not all, but definitely some. If you don't allow this to become an issue emotionally weighing on you, it won't be. So how do you do that?
Just remember that the physiological lifespan of an emotion is about ninety seconds. Thinking about anything for more than a minute and a half is indeed overthinking. You need to shift your focus to something healthy, after implementing what I like to call the good ole, "process and release". Because life is too short to waste any time, and letting your mind go down an emotional rabbit hole is one of the biggest wastes of time in my opinion.
So let it out! Process and release style, baby. Take that next minute and a half to ponder what’s perturbing you about the scenario at hand. Text a friend/family member to vent, and make it known that you are upset. They can’t bring a toolbox over to repair your heart, but they can bring wine and dark chocolate. Let something out by letting someone in. This will feel so good! It’s not healthy to bottle your emotions up. Lingering heartache can cause stress, and stress can lead to illness.
Maybe you’re a little closed off and don’t feel comfortable talking to others about your feelings. Time to grab your journal and write about it! This works every time for me, like a charm. This tool is surprisingly helpful in the future, when you want to keep yourself from repeating the same mistakes of the past. If you don’t think you have a minute and a half to write a quick entry, I promise you do. If you’re not near your journal use the "notes" app in your phone. Voice memos on my phone is another really great tool! Especially if you have a lot to say, but don't feel like writing or typing it. You pay a lot of money each month for your phone, might as well get the most out of it right?
My heart hurts too sometimes, but never for long. I process and release, immediately aiming to shift my focus. I wrote this article when I was down, and now i'm revising it in a totally new and improved frame of mind. The relativity of time brings me comfort, and pain without purpose is pointless. The present moment in time doesn’t have to determine your future. You are not the events and heartache that you experience. I encourage you to also turn your pain into purpose today. Honor your emotions and take your ninety seconds. Slowly begin to move on after your minute and a half is up, and shift your focus to something constructive. We are blessed as humans to experience all of the emotions. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Better to have felt than to have never experienced the feeling at all. To love and to lose love is ok. To lose love and continue loving, is also fine. Your feelings are valid no matter what they may be. Your pheromones will always make you feel a bit phucked, and that is completely normal. After all, this is is the game of life and it didn’t come with an instruction manual.
The Lifespan of an Emotion - Living the Mess, https://www.livingthemess.com/the-lifespan-of-an-emotion/, Living the Mess - Life is messy. Embrace it all., March 06, 2017
Do Pheromones Play a Role in Our Sex Lives?, https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/pheromones-sex-lives/, Scientific American, February 13, 2012