Rejection and Physical Pain
Updated: Mar 31, 2022
Life imitates art, and i’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this. When we as humans hear things we are typically capable of separating the emotional side, but when emotion is added to the mix we are better able to relate or resonate with what we are listening to. It becomes a much deeper resonation. I believe we have all been rejected in life, and numerous times at that. Your first instinct is undeniably to think of your love or social life, but I am talking rejection on an immensely heightened scale. Think about your career, school, and overall day-to-day life.
The first time I heard that the brain responds to rejection the same way that it responds to physical pain I was listening to an Ed Mylett podcast in my kitchen, while cooking late one Friday afternoon. I questioned, “How this could be?” You see, when we’re not physically experiencing something in that current moment it does become more difficult to fathom. It's challenging to put ourselves back in the shoes that we're not currently walking in. It is also physically impossible to ever experience the same exact emotion twice, in turn making it even more difficult to remember exactly how deep rejection once stung.
Only a day after listening to this podcast I went out one evening with friends, and by happenstance connected with a past love interest of mine. The timing was divine, and although I have a hard time admitting it, I was beyond grateful to have ran into them in the moment. The more I drank, the less I cared about my self protecting emotional wall I keep up at all times. That seems to always be the case with the culprit; alcohol. "Nothing matters! It's all good" or, "You only live once, right?" I told the guard who kept a keen eye on this wall of mine that he could take the night off, and drop the borders from every angle.
As the night went on and emotional border patrol was sound asleep, off duty, i’m sure you can imagine where I ended up. I was at their place now, and things felt good. No, better than good actually. Things felt great. After all, good is the enemy of great. It felt as though time had stood still, and we were back again where we once were. Until the bubble burst. We fell from the clouds, and reality sank in. We were still tainted, as the glamour of the alcohol wore off.
I can see emotion though human eyes. People really don’t need to use their words with me nine times out of ten. I can almost always look into someone's eyes, and also feel their electromagnetic wavelength that their heart is putting out. I am an empath, what can I say? It immediately became prevalent that I was no longer wanted. The electromagnetic wavelength, or vibes as some say were cutting. The knife was icy cold as it cut right through me, and reminded me of the pain and heartache I once caused this person, they caused me, and we caused one another. I knew in my heart that’s what was going through their head as the energy in the room drastically shifted. Without further exchange of words, they went to bed. I was left alone, and mortified to say the very least.
A stabbing in my heart and a migraine beginning to form behind my eyes. I experienced shortness of breath as a million thoughts ran wild through my head. "Surely this couldn't be, there's no way" I thought. The human brain will exhaust any and every possibility of a scenario if it means protecting your emotional and physical well being, but sometimes things just are what they are. This was nothing more than the simple fact of the matter, that I had indeed been rejected. Ouch.
It was already so late that there was really no point of leaving right then and there. An uber would have been near impossible to find at that hour, so I promised myself the second the sun awoke I would move in silence and get the hell out of there. Me, my dignity, and my emotional border patrol got up and got going before we were ever noticed. At least that I knew of.
Said lover didn’t understand why I had left without saying goodbye, and told me that the reason they put themselves to bed early was because they were sick. I believe this to be true, but I also know what I felt, and energy typically doesn’t lie. All details aside, they really don’t matter at this point. I had been rejected, and I felt the physical pain.
In life we as humans are programmed to fear rejection because it physically hurts, and I can attest to this. It hurts our pride, and diminishes our egos as a result. How does that one quote go again? Oh yeah, "what doesn't kill you does indeed make you stronger," and maybe we need to be humbled by these experiences. Maybe sometimes in life we should to be bucked off of our high horse. When the pencil goes into the sharpener it gets cut and shaved down; but it comes out sharper in the end doesn’t it? You are the pencil, and while some experiences physically hurt they are absolutely making you a shaper version of yourself.